It was supposed to be an easy mission. It was supposed to be quick, just her and Anakin breaking away from the group and disabling the communications array while the rest of them took the front of the building. It was supposed to be simple.
There wasn’t supposed to be a security system, at least not an electrified one.
Anakin’s lifted in the air by the force of the shock, body seizing, back arched unnaturally. “Master!” Ahsoka screams, running forward until she’s early on top of the sensors that Anakin had triggered. There’s nothing she can do but watch as whatever security system he’d run into pumps him full of electricity.
“You have to be more careful, sir. So many shocks in such a short time isn’t good for, well, any part of your body.”
“I know, Kix. I’ll keep it in mind.”
He can’t scream, but he makes awful, choked-off sounds as he writhes in the air. Ahsoka can hear her heartbeat in her ears. The comms array they were aiming for is lit up a cheerful blue-green, active as ever and transmitting valuable Seppie data across the galaxy as she watches. Anakin’s prosthetic is wreathed in lightning. It reminds her of Dooku.
Her Master drops to the ground with an awful thunk and she cries out again, nearly running into the electricity field after him. No. Be calm, Ahsoka. Be centered. Evaluate the situation and act appropriately.
Anakin’s not moving, not even twitching, just lying there smoking. She takes a few steps back and uses the Force to pull him to her. It’s fine. It’s going to be fine. Anakin will wake up and they’ll figure out a way to finish the mission or abort it or something and Kix will laugh and Obi-Wan will scowl and then laugh and it’s fine.
She kneels next to him and shakes his shoulder. “Master. Master, you have to wake up.” Nothing. He looks… oddly still. His presence on the opposite side of their bond is also odd. “Anakin! Anakin, please wake up. Master?”
Oh, Force, please no.
She’s not quite in her body as she reaches down and presses her fingers to his neck, searching for his pulse. Nothing. That’s fine, she just got the wrong spot. Nothing. She presses again, so hard she’s afraid she’ll leave a bruise. There’s no heartbeat. He’s not breathing. “Master! Master, please!”
Okay. Okay, he’s not breathing. Or pumping blood. This can’t be happening. This isn’t real. She’s dreaming. Somewhere in the station, a droid knocks something over and curses. Anakin isn’t breathing.
Okay. Focus, Ahsoka. You took First Aid. Yeah, two years ago. Focus. You need to do CPR.
Her breath catches in her throat as she pushes at Anakin again. She can’t coordinate her arms enough to make anything happen, let alone resuscitation. She has to do something.
Call Rex. He’ll know what to do.
She presses the call button on her comms. Rex responds nearly immediately.
“Commander? What is it?”
“Rex, Rex, I- oh, Force.” Her breath is running away from her now.
The footsteps on the other end of the connection stop. “Commander? Are you injured?”
“No,” she manages. “I- Rex, he’s not breathing. Anakin got shocked and he’s not breathing and his heart’s not beating and-”
“Ahsoka.” There’s a muffled sound like conversation, and then Rex speaks again. “Ahsoka, are you safe right now? Are you in danger of an ambush?”
She glances around. Thankfully, they’d locked the door behind them, and there was no significant droid presence in this part of the station. “I’m safe,” she says.
“Good. How long ago did the General’s heart stop?”
“Um, not long. Thirty seconds, maybe?” Yes, that sounds right. The Force agrees with that.
“Commander, I need you to follow my instructions and stay calm. Listen up.” She makes a small affirmative noise and Rex continues. “Put your lek to his chest and listen for any breathing.”
She does as she’s told, pressing her head to Anakin’s chest and reaching out with all her senses for any sign of life. For a long moment, there’s nothing but the ambient noise of the station and the ragged rush of her own breathing.
“Anything?”
“No. Nothing, there’s nothing, Rex, he’s dead.”
“It’s alright, Ahsoka, just keep listening.” The footsteps are back on Rex’s end of the line, quicker this time. “Now, put your hands over each other like you’re holding your own hand. Do you know the CPR position?”
“Ye-yes.” She locks her fingers together and places her palm on Anakin’s sternum.
“Great. Now push hard every time I say a number. I’m going to count to thirty and then we’re going to do rescue breaths, okay?”
“Yes.” She braces herself over Anakin and closes her eyes, focusing on Rex’s voice and trying to pretend this is a training exercise.
“One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven…”
She pushes hard, racing to keep up with Rex’s words. It doesn’t feel like anything’s happening, so she pushes harder, driving down with all she’s got. Come on, Master, please, please, please.
“Twenty eight. Twenty nine. Thirty. Stop.” She stops. “Plug his nose and put your mouth completely over his. Then, you’re going to blow twice. Really hard, Commander, he’s a lot bigger than you.”
Ahsoka takes a deep breath and wishes that she didn’t have to literally kiss her Master. Ew. For a moment, the ridiculousness overwhelms the panic and she huffs a hysterical laugh. Then, she’s breathing for Anakin, feeling his chest inflate under hers and pushing again, willing the Force to help him breathe.
“Nothing’s happening, Rex, I think he’s dead. I think he’s really dead, holy shit.” Tears stream down her face, hot and fast and choking.
“Stay with me, vod’ika. Come on, more compressions. One. Two. Three. Four….”
“We’re almost to you, Commander. Two breaths. Now one, two, three, four, five…”
“Rex? I heard something snap.”
“It’s okay, Commander, that means you’re doing it right. Fifteen. Sixteen. Seventeen.”
Ahsoka’s not sure how long she’s been going, but her arms burn as she pushes down on Anakin’s chest for what feels like the thousandth time. With every compression, his signature grows fainter, threatening to slip away entirely.
Rex stops counting and she pulls back to transition to breathing when Anakin jerks underneath her, coughing and spasming almost like he was being electrocuted again.
“Master!” She grabs his flailing hand and finds the pulse there. A fresh wave of tears slide down her cheeks and she leans forward, pulling his shoulders up in an attempt to help him breathe.
The coughing subsides and Anakin takes a deep, painful breath. He’s heavy in her arms, but not limp like before, and when his eyes flutter open, she sees him behind them. Then, they close again and he collapses to the ground, sliding from her grip.
“-mmander. Commander, is the General breathing?”
“Yeah, yeah, he’s breathing again.” Oh, he had stopped breathing. Her Master had been dead.
There’s muffled whooping on Rex’s side of the comms. “Good job, vod’ika. You did so good. Pull him into the recovery position and keep a finger on his pulse; you did so good. We’re almost there. Good job.”
“Okay. Okay, I’m waiting.” She tugs Anakin into the best recovery position she can manage given how large he is. He’s hot to the touch, especially his bare skin, but he’s breathing and Ahsoka will never take that for granted again. She finds his pulse, weak and skipping but there, and waits.
“Commander, are you near the door?” Rex asks.
“Wh- no, why?” Ahsoka stammers past the burning in her throat.
There’s no response, only blaster fire and the deafening crack of the door falling inwards. Then, the squad comes pouring in, filling the room with Kix’s ‘serious business’ voice and the clanking of armor. Ahsoka falls back onto her hands as the room spins around her. Someone tugs at her sleeve.
“Commander?” It’s Rex. He’s crouching next to her, helmet off so she can see his bitten lip and furrowed brow. “Hey, let’s get up, vod’ika.”
She turns as if underwater, feeling slow and stupid as she looks for Anakin. “No, I- Master, I have to-”
“It’s over, Ahsoka. He’s breathing. Kix has him.” Rex wraps his arm around her shoulders and tugs her to her feet, letting her lean against him. Her legs feel like cotton. “Medical evac will be here in five and we’ve got to meet them at the rendezvous point.”
Over Rex’s shoulder, Ahsoka watches Kix throw Anakin over his shoulder. He’s put a field oxygen mask over his face, but Ahsoka can still see the blue tint to his lips. Her air is in his lungs. He could still die. “How will we get out?” she says. Her voice sounds very small and far away.
“Don’t you worry about that, Commander. Those clankers won’t be bothering us any time soon.”
Ahsoka doesn’t remember much of the ride back up to the cruiser. She knows that they took Anakin to the tiny medical station on the transport ship that picked them up. She knows that she wasn’t allowed to see him. She knows that she spent a lot of time with her face buried in Rex’s shoulder and she remembers the cool plastoid of Rex’s armor against her lekku. Other than that, there’s a lot of blank space.
The ship jolts as they touch down in the hangar and then there’s a lot of yelling and movement and panic in the Force. Anakin passes her, presumably in a stretcher. She presses herself against him in the Force, a brief touch just to feel his signature back in this plane. He reaches back, weak and unconscious but still there to comfort her. Through it all, Rex keeps his hand at the back of her head, pressing her face into his shoulder and protecting her from the rush until the medics have left the ship.
Then, she feels her Grandmaster arrive on the scene. Shoving away from Rex, she bolts down the ramp, making for Obi-Wan. He’s standing a few meters away, arms crossed and eyes fixed on Anakin’s stretcher as it’s pushed towards medical. Kix is on there with him, straddling his hips and pumping some sort of bag and shouting at the rest of the team. Ahsoka tears her eyes away and runs to her Grandmaster.
He catches sight of her at the bottom of the ramp and puts his arms out, ready to catch her when she launches herself into his chest, wrapping her arms around him and clinging.
He hugs back and his beard tickles the top of her head. “Ahsoka,” he says. “You did well, Padawan. I’m so proud of you.”
She pauses for a moment, processing his words. She could have killed him. Her hesitation could have killed her Master. What she’d done might not have been enough, but Obi-Wan is proud of her. He thinks she did well. He prods at her through the Force, the same gentle touch as always, and all she can think to say is, “I was so scared.” Then, the tears come again, ripped out of her from somewhere deep inside.
“I know, Ahsoka. It’s okay. I know.” He holds her tighter, rocking them in place and murmuring reassurances as she cries.
Anakin wakes up four hours later. By then, Ahsoka’d showered and changed and filled out her mission report and hovered around Obi-Wan and Cody on the bridge while pretending to fill out more paperwork. Blitz got her hot chocolate.
When Kix comms Obi-Wan to let him know, his face falls from its facsimile of calm into a truer one. “Cody, will you-”
“Of course, sir,” Cody says, putting a hand on his shoulder. “Tell the General I said hello.”
Ahsoka wants to run down to medbay and Obi-Wan looks like it pains him to stop her. Nevertheless, they walk calmly and professionally to the lifts and ride them with minimal hand-wringing and walk the rest of the way with little to no anxious fidgeting. Finally, they’re outside the door to the recovery ward.
As soon as the door opens, she hears a hoarse, “Snips! Obi-Wan!” Then, the voice dissolves into coughing and Kix says something profane.
Across the room, Anakin’s making a valiant attempt to sit up while Kix and Rex watch, respectively exasperated and amused. He’s lost his tunics at some point and he’s got no shirt on, letting Ahsoka see the bruising and bandaging from where she broke his ribs while trying to keep him alive. Obi-Wan puts a hand on her shoulder.
“Anakin,” he calls. “It’s good to see you alive and kicking.” They cross the room to him. He looks even worse up close, all bruised eyes and pale skin. “You gave your padawan quite a scare.”
Anakin’s face falls and he turns to Ahsoka, meeting her eyes with that unnatural intensity. “Ahsoka, I’m so sorry you had to do that,” he says, reaching out to her.
She takes his hand. “It’s okay, Master. It’s not like you meant to die, right?” She goes for a smile and misses.
Anakin smiles for her, squeezing her hand. “Nah, just testing you. See how you react under pressure, you know?” Then, he sobers again. “In all seriousness, thank you. I’m very proud of how you conducted yourself today.”
She manages a watery laugh. “How would you know how I conducted myself? You were dead!”
Everyone bursts out laughing and Anakin swats her arm. “Hey! Only for five minutes. And, for your information, Rex told me. But I guess I’ll just take that praise back, then-”
“No, wait-”
“No, no, it’s too late. I’ve been scorned by my own Padawan. Kix, my heart has been broken. I may never recover.” Anakin throws a hand over his brow, leaning back dramatically.
“I don’t think I can fix stupidity, sir,” Kix drawls.
“Fired! You’re all fired!”