Defrost

He must have been in the middle of a nightmare. He can’t remember, but he can taste copper at the back of his throat and his hair is sweaty. He sits up carefully, afraid with every movement that something will come out of the dark and hurt him. He’s freezing. 

Bang. Bang. Bang. Bang. 

There it is. He wasn’t dreaming, not about that part, at least. Someone is going through the barracks and knocking on doors. Insistent. Arrhythmic. Meant to rattle through heads and kickstart hearts. 

Faie takes a deep, deliberate breath. It’s nothing. Nothing is happening. Someone making a weird noise elsewhere in the ship, that’s all. 

Get up, Faie, says the scared cadet he still shares a body with. Get up, up up up up, it’s almost reveille, time to get up. 

It’s not, he reminds his younger self. It’s still the middle of the night and nothing is happening. 

His hands are stiff with fear. 

Priest used to come through banging on the doors when—

Stop it, he scolds his brain. It obsesses, replaying the memories over and over like he’s addicted to the terror. 

Bang.

Getupgetupgetupgetup! 

It’s safer, Faie thinks, not to move. Something might notice him if he moves. Every shadow is humanoid. 

Maybe Priest has come to check on him and Neyo. Fuck. Neyo. What if the banging is him going to wake up Neyo? Faie tries to orient himself in the ship, figure out if the noise is coming from the direction of Neyo’s quarters, but the room he’s slept in for the last year and a half is suddenly unfamiliar. He doesn’t know which direction to face to look at the door. 

He’s coming, Little Faie reminds him. 

He’s not, Faie responds. 

Is he? 

Durasteel groans and Faie startles so badly that it hurts. Shit. Okay. He’s sitting up in bed. His back is to the wall, so the door is… that way. He has to get out of here. It’s too cold to breathe. 

What if Priest comes and finds him out of bed? 

Faie considers this and tries to lay back down. Maybe, if he can just fall asleep…

Nope. Not going to work. Space warps overtop of his prone body, yawning into a pitch black chasm from which anything could emerge. His skin tingles. 

Fuck. If Priest could get Neyo, he could come and find the rest of Faie’s pieces he hadn’t broken down small enough and he could find Penchant in the adjoining barracks and—

What if they’ve taken Penchant? 

He gets up and sprints for the door, slipping into the barracks proper before anything can, well… 

Penchant’s asleep in his bunk. Faie creeps across the floor, avoiding the spot that creaks, and climbs in with him. 

“M’wha?” Penchant mumbles, turning away from his pillow as Faie lifts the blankets and sidles up next to him. It’s warmer here, but it doesn’t seem to touch the tingling. “C’m’der?” 

Penchant is here. He’s warm and alive and Faie can feel his heart beating through both of their blacks. He presses Penchant into the wall and turns to face the rest of the barracks. Nothing there and Penchant at his back. 

“Faie?” Penchant says, clearer. Faie can feel the vibrations of his voice right through his back and the top of his head. It’s good. Faie shuffles closer. Nothing’s got them. Faie will kill anyone who tries. 

“Faie, hey.” Penchant drapes an arm over Faie’s middle and feels around until Faie takes his hand. “‘S okay. ‘S okay.” 

Faie breathes in. Out. In. Out. Penchant squeezes his hand. “I gotcha.” He throws his leg over Faie’s hips and drags him closer. “I gotcha.” 

Slowly, Faie begins to defrost. Penchant is warm and real and Faie’s eyes are adjusting to the dark. 

They begin to close. 

“Gotcha,” Penchant mumbles, and Faie can feel his lips move against the back of his neck. Penchant is falling back to sleep. “Gotcha, Commander.” 

Faie hangs onto his arm as his eyes grow too heavy to keep open.